Tuesday had been another long day. As well as working on the land I had also moved a lot of rubble from the construction work Exhausted though I felt, it was now 3:30am and I had been unable to sleep.
With the bathrooms still out of commission I had to return to the darkness of the underworld.
Emboldened by the previous night’s success in my skirmishes with the Terminator, I called out to the toad as I reached for the light switch,
‘If you are down here there is going to be trouble’
The light flickered on and there in the middle of the floor was the toad.
‘Right you’ve asked for it’ said I, reaching for my cardboard shield.
I moved towards the creature, but as I neared my quarry it began to uncoil. Toads do not uncoil not even Terminators. No this must be a snake, a snake oh no now we've got snakes in the house.
A snake but what type of snake? Not a grass snake no the colouring was more like an adder… but they are poisonous, that much I knew. I decided to photograph the snake in case the doctor should need it for identification when searching for the correct antivenin.
I photographed the coiled snake and the camera flash light roused the resting creature, which slithered across the floor looking for a new hiding place. With my cardboard shield at the ready I scoured the underworld for a new weapon. I took up a sweeping brush and advanced on the snake. Using the brush like a lance I pushed the snake towards the door, while shielding myself with the cardboard. Soon I had the upper hand my superior weaponry was proving to be decisive. With the snake pinned back with the broom I lowered the cardboard shield to open the door; at that the snake made a lunge at the broom’s bristles jaws open wide. Then, were my eyes deceiving me? It started to disappear into the brush but emerged through the bristles and the back of the brush towards my hand.
I dropped my lance and shield and retreated. It seemed as Falstaff once put it that,
‘The better part of valour is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.’
The snake moved away, at once I seized upon my weapons and with renewed energy rejoined the battle this time ready for any serpent trickery. The snake was soon subdued. I trapped it between my lance and shield and removed it from the underworld.
The snake slithered away into the night. Adieu then my worthy adversary!
6a.m. wide awake. I decide to check the under build in case the snake has returned.
No there is no sign of the snake. But wait what is that moving in the shadows… it was the Terminator toad! Another battle but this time my quarry was soon beaten. My skills honed in combat with the snake were too much for Terminator.
As the toad ambled towards the long grass beyond the underworld I called out to him,
“You had better watch out there is a snake out there!”
I swear the toad stopped and changed direction, glancing back towards me he didn’t have to say anything, I knew he’d be back.